1. |
Mr. Alwaysright
02:39
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I learned how to love from a family who didn't know how to forget
I learned how to live as a person who only held on to regret
I was taught how to act, to cover up scars,
to bottle up feelings like failed dreams of stars
you'll never make me proud if you live like that
but there's more to my life than the plans you might have
this must be just what I needed
I don't know what I wanted from you
a dark night, a bright light
it's just enough to wake me up
in a family of graduates you dropped out
the day you came early you were locked out
the thoughts are creeping in again
you know i don't want to make a scene
let's go somewhere, i need to be alone
let's go somewhere, i'm gonna fall APART
what you saw through the window can't be blocked out
broke every pane to take away your own
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2. |
Krelboyne Picnic
03:12
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you swore it was the right decision
so I awoke to see you off
searching for a better vision
you abide by your own thoughts
if I subscribe to your ideas
do I assume you as a leader
could I pick and choose
from the books you gave
to make my opinions clearer
tally marks on the wall from every breath
I wanted to leave in a silent death
pull off the road cause I can't take it
I'll try to save face but I can't fake it
whatever happened to the book you were writing
you called me a savage but I took to your liking
swallow this down it helps with those thoughts
but now I can't sleep and they're casting lots
drafted poorly, not promised permanence
I exist alone in my ignorance
come on jamie read me your tattoos
there's still so much left for us to do
my knuckles are pushing and fighting to get out
my hands turning white, I'm swept up in doubt
I'm like a record spinning til I'm relevant
then burning out cause I'm out of my element
(I stared long & it's coming back
when I want I paint my nails black
you go to a world made of glass
the streets are paved but you walk on grass)
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3. |
Public School
02:30
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I see the seasons in the trees
my months in the leaves
I'm burning brighter for myself
I woke up from the day into a good night
I walk the streets for fun but always depending on another
I am on a bus in 2005 where the limbs branch off
my head is rattling against the window, like we went to brooklyn
I can't stop listening at this point
my life is on gapless playback
I am 17 and moving once again
hopefully this home will last , hopefully I'll reignite
I am on a river going too fast, but the view is nice
and I know how to swim
the words are repeating and changing at the same time
while my mother sobs softly, my father bursts and everyone is silent
I am a black sheep, it's marked on my skin
In all of my cards: "we're praying for you, we love you"
well act like it
and I felt the most at home when I was gone
it's 7:30 on a back porch
my eyes are finally open
and I know I'm alone
the neighborhood is quiet
they gather all around
softly: "he loved you"
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4. |
Forever Please
03:24
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the sun reflects off the sand and it hurts my eyes, so i blame it on that.
but you stepped on a hive as i passed by, so you blame it on that.
my mouth is a hollow garage built to spill the ideas of my mind's montage
pictures projected on the side of their house / she likes it when I make my voice sound Scouse
the film is warped so the plot won't connect / cars in the driveway as dusk resurrects a feeling so fleeting; a romanticized pleasure
I've been seeing more love since the first time I met her
light switches with screws loose / opinions are obtuse
fragile masculinity I want to shatter
listen close and hear my teeth chatter
cause this years winter came without warning like a fire alarm at three in the morning
my head against the wall so it feels like the floor
her leg on my leg, my eyes on the door
white flourescents / my adolescence
I'll shut my eyes to forget about both
and think
maybe one day you'll grow up and be happy
like a vhs in a bathtub
like a basement in a mansion
like you're laughing and feeling love
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5. |
This is Water
04:02
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THIS IS WATER:
the space in my head that I occupy
the freewill you lost / the truth I deny
I fear my adjustments won't keep going well
I'll end up in my own kind of childhood hell
tossing & turning
longing & yearning
for more chances to take
and more choices to make
I am up late into the night retelling myself everything I didn't do, everything I didn't say
and I hear your voice being honest with me / flooding my mind
and you keep saying something but I can't make it out
it's lost in the thoughts that push down & drown
and it's all ruined.
and it's all ruined because of the substance that fills my head:
THIS IS WATER
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Pictures of Vernon Asheville, North Carolina
beauty punk
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